Sleevie Knicks
One man risks all for the love of his team
Dear Referee Rex,
The impossible has happened. The New York Knicks are NBA champions!
Other than the birth of my kids, this is the greatest moment of my life.
You feel me, right? The New York Knicks, bay-bee! First title in 53 years!!
I’m immortalizing the occasion by getting a tattoo. Not just any tattoo — a whole sleeve — celebrating the Knicks in their glory. Brunson, KAT, Bridges, OG and Josh Hart!
The ultimate body mural of Skyscrapers, Slam Dunks and Superstars.
There’s only one thing standing in the way.
Louisa.
My wife thinks the layout is ugly, that it looks trashy, and is waaaay too expensive.
I told her I was lucky to even get a consult at Squid’s Inkwell, the hottest shop in Brooklyn. The design was done by Squid himself!
She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t care. And she’s censoring my freedom of expression.
But if the Knicks can overcome the Spurs, then I can overcome Louisa.
What do you think I should do?
I really want to make this happen.
Signed,
Having Obstacle Obtaining Personal Satisfaction
Dear HOOPS,
The unique affliction known as Championship Fever may induce symptoms ranging from “joyous” to “boisterous” to “overtly overzealous.”
You seem to be firmly in that latter stage.
Fortunately, this condition is rarely intractable and often fades with time!
And with all things in marriage, a compromise may be your best move.
Instead of a grandiose design, perhaps the Knicks logo on a shoulder would be an equal yet more modest tribute?
Something you could cover as needed. Yet quickly be revealed with a yank of your shirt to show your devotion to the Knickerbockers.
Jalen Brunson is an all-star. A fantastic player! Adept at evading defenders and sinking his shot at the basket.
He does not have to (as far as I know) live side-by-side with any of them, much less be married in wedded bliss.
Listen, there’s a lot of time left on the shot clock. No need to pull the trigger right away.
Consider your options, don’t go recklessly to the rim, don’t get lost in the moment.
Make the smart play that has the best chance of success.
While it might not result in a ticker-tape parade, you’ll have at least one fan cheering your decision.
Counterpoint Commentary by …
Frieda Looke, the Tattooed Lady
As you might have guessed, I have strong feelings on this matter.
No one should ever tell you how to express yourself.
No one should tell you how to highlight or decorate your own body.
To me, these principles are absolute.
“Written in ink,” as some might say.
However, questions and concerns still remain.
You rank your children’s births as your greatest moment. The Knicks come in at second-best. What does your marriage to Louisa rank in the big scheme of things?
Have you ever thought to celebrate her on the canvas of your skin? Even just initials, or a nickname, or a tiny heart only you and she can see?
Not that I’m trying to shame you into putting something on your body that you do not want.
That’s not my point.
But perhaps your priorities are slightly askew?
In any case, I suppose that notion is irrelevant to the question at hand.
If you want a Knicks sleeve on your arm, you should get a Knicks sleeve on your arm.
It would be hypocritical of me to say otherwise.
Just be aware that two opposite thoughts can both be true at the same time.
Yes, you should never shy away from self-expression or your own personal standards.
You should also not be surprised, upon completion, if Louisa soon shies away from you.
.