Pressure Point Always
Dear Rexaroni and Cheese,
All my life I’ve had a problem with handling stress. It sucks. I fold under pressure.
Day-to-day stuff, I’m usually okay. Mostly. But in a big moment, I crack.
Why am I like this?
How can I learn to be better under pressure?
Signed,
Will I Learn Tenacity
Dear WILT,
You frame this issue as a moral failing, as a personal frailty.
That is not a fair representation of the truth.
Some things in life are outside our control.
Let me introduce you to a concept called the Window of Tolerance. This refers to a state of being when you feel safe, at peace, emotionally open. Able to react appropriately to any given moment or situation.
Some people have large Windows of Tolerance. Others do not.
What something occurs to nudge you beyond your Window of Tolerance, you enter a state of hyperarousal. Your palms get sweaty. Your breath gets short. You might freeze or seek to flee.
Again, not your fault. Childhood trauma may have left you an unwitting player in a terrible game.
There is hope! Strategies exist you might employ.
Breathe! Controlling your breath is of utmost importance. Deep, slow breathing can help break the cycle.
Take up daily meditation or yoga. Attune your body to your mind. Train yourself to be centered and calm.
Be in the moment. Observe your environment slowly. Literally acknowledge, one-by-one, what you see. It will get you out of your head.
Exercise regularly. The more you exercise, the better you will feel, not just physically, but emotionally.
Last but not least: be kind to yourself. And do give a look into the remedies I’ve suggested.
Tenacity is merely the act of being determined in a pursuit, which it sounds like you already are.
As we say in the circus: Yesterday’s performance can get better by tomorrow.
All it takes is a little practice.
Counterpoint commentary by …
Dexter O’ Droit, Master Lead Head Juggler
(Yes, I’ve changed my title again. I’m going with Master Juggler. Does that work? Or too much like being a Master Debater, if you catch my drift. Don’t need that nickname!)
On to your question, and the question is … PRESSURE.
Well, pressure is something I know a lot about. Try juggling three chain saws at one time! Not much margin of error in that deal. (Check out Seven-Finger Sven if you have doubts, he’s living proof.)1
The worst advice I got when starting out? ‘Imagine everyone in the audience in their underwear.’ How is that supposed to help me? I think that idea comes from dudes who secretly want to get caught with their pants down.2
The trick of it, though, is that pressure keeps you sharp. Don’t be too cool. Take the Civil War example of Gen. John Sedgewick. When faced with enemy sharpshooters, he literally said, “They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.” He was lethally rebutted seconds later.3
Let’s find a more cheerful note! My current outlook? It inclines more philosophical. I’ve just embraced the Japanese concept of Wabi-Sabi. In short, it teaches how to accept your flaws, accept a feeling of imperfection. I’ve found new harmony beside the impermanent and the asymmetrical. Pretty deep stuff.4
One last thought on the matter, if I may? Your situation calls to mind the term “hothouse flower.” Meaning someone who thrives only in certain conditions …
As in Nero Wolfe! From the famous detective novels, he was a genius crime-solver who detested leaving his home. Because he was a hothouse flower. And the best part: he was an avid plant-lover, his hobby was growing orchids, he literally installed a hothouse for his precious flowers. I read every tale in my youth.5
I think that covers everything I have to say about pressure. This topic is of great interest to me! Good luck to you as you juggle your cares and concerns.
I’ll let a modern-day poet offer this final thought on the subject:
“You have to learn to pace yourself,
Pressure.
You're just like everybody else,
Pressure.
You've only had to run so far,
So good.
But you will come to a place,
Where the only thing you feel,
Are loaded guns in your face,
And you'll have to deal with,
Pressure.”6
Sven is still working at The Ludlow Circus! To their credit, they’ve kept him on payroll. These days he mostly just juggles fruit.
The American Association for Nude Recreation has a reported membership of 50,000 individuals. That’s as much digging as I want to do on that subject.
A sharpshooter’s bullet found its mark beneath his left eye; he died instantly and ignominiously.
Not to be confused with the Japanese condiment Wasabi, which is hella tasty on sushi.
Shout out to my boy Archie Goodwin, the wisecracking P.I. who brought those stories to life. He and Nero made a memorable duo! They still hold up today.
William Martin Joel, 1982.