Hog Wild
Dear Rex-n-Effect,
I raise alpacas and want to start a circus act with them. Just kidding! Circuses suck. I would never put my animals in something so awful.
How do you justify your industry’s shameful legacy? And why do you have animal acts in your circus even now?
Signed,
Looking Lovingly At My Alpacas
Dear LLAMA,
Allow me to illuminate and educate you on our animal act policy.
The Zaboni Brothers Traveling Circus has divested itself of all animal acts, with one exception, and remains committed to a cruelty-free environment.
Was it always this way?
Obviously, no.
Our circus, along with many others, contributed to a sad and scandalous legacy.
Modern performers now carry the sins of times past.
Our forerunners were terrible stewards to such majestic beasts:
The Elephant!
Trumpet sounds that speak in years;
Soft eyes, deft heft — those bulky deers.
The Lion!
Herds disperse when great king wakes.
Each step he pads, the jungle quakes.
The Tiger!
A charismatic and a most cuddly cat,
Striped and deadly, that’s a fact.
The Bear!
Round and rugged, as a norm,
Fuzzy teddy in nature’s form.
And now! … hmmm. Uhh, ahem. Yes.
Forgive me for waxing poetic.
Occupational hazard!
Let us continue.
Although it’s possible for one to be TOO eloquent?
Something to ponder.
Allow me to cede the floor to someone much more well-versed on this topic.
Counterpoint Commentary by …
Wyatt Aussome & His Aussome Hogs
We should do a lot better job of celebrating these creatures.
There hasn’t been a pig in the public eye since like when?
Maybe that muppet one that everybody finds funny.
And yes, pigs and hogs are basically the same. Only difference is size. They all start out as pigs and some get big enough to be hogs.
Not really sure about that one on TV. Seems like it’d be hard to get an accurate weight. Her being a puppet’n all.
To give you my bona fides, I have a BS in animal husbandry, and I am proudly a vegetarian.
We are monitored at every show by the Livestock Council or the Swine Safety Guild, depending on locale.
My animals are my friends and my family.
My dad was a good man, but he didn’t (at least to me) treat animals right. To him, they were just ‘things.’
But they have a light, you know? If you let ’em.
I connected with that light. We started trying tricks. They caught on quick.
Our skits and “stunts” are always safe. Not everyone wants to perform every night and that’s okay. Volunteer basis only. They can always just sit and watch.
Hogs are sweet creatures. Full of love and capable of great intelligence.
I want others to know their beauty.
I’m an ambassador for animals in need of recognition.
Take a gander and I guarantee you’ll like what you see.
