Heart Jump-Start
Dear Tee-Rex,
We’re now two months into this year. I’ve completely failed at my New Year’s resolutions.
I have not looked into attending community college.
I have not managed to lose a single pound.
I have not made an appointment for a dentist to examine my bad tooth.
How can I get some motivation? I feel like a loser.
Signed,
Inglorious Daydreams, Lazy Existence
Dear IDLE,
The first thing I would recommend is to see a doctor. You could be suffering from depression, or maybe you have ADD or ADHD.
There could be a range of medical conditions or diseases. Or maybe an iron deficiency or riboflavin or what-not.
Once those have been ruled out? We are then left with only a million other possibilities. I cannot pinpoint the cause.
The one person you need to ask is of course yourself. Have you truly no idea what stops you from taking action? Nary a single clue?
If clues are at issue, we might do well to elicit commentary from an expert detective:
“I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world.”
-Sherlock Holmes, The Sign of Four.
This dull routine of existence could sit at the heart of your troubling malaise.
Fortunately, my profession excels at the craving for mental exaltation!
Leave your home as soon as you can. Go somewhere with bright lights, somewhere where the energy of humanity is palpable.
Doesn’t have to be the circus.
Just any place where life crackles and feels aflame.
Turn your dull routine into something, anything, that sparks your light. You need to reinvigorate that which has gone dormant.
Keep in mind that once it starts to flicker?
Only you can supply the kindling to keep it ablaze.
Counterpoint commentary by …
Crushed Velvet (assistant to Nigel Knives)
You have the chance to go to community college? For real. And you’re just wasting it?
I couldn’t even raise the cash for Finley Academy’s Circus Arts program.
I’m not talking about apprenticing at Le Grande Bourgett or attending Trudwell’s Circus School. No, the Finley Academy! Even that was out of range.
I thought about asking Nigel Knives to maybe sponsor me. But then I’d be away from our show. For at least a few months! Some new girl would get to be Crushed Velvet. What if he likes her better?
I might leave the circus and never come back.
So I’m really sorry if you’re not motivated or whatever. Darn.
My advice? Stand up against a wall. Smile. Have someone throw 12” steel daggers at your head until your priorities suddenly align in your mind. Happens real quick.
By then, my friend, it’s too late. The knives become all you have.
