Glitch in the Matrix
What does it mean to truly achieve success?
Dear Rex Razmatazz,
I have ascended to the summit of my profession. My career goals have been met!
I’m now the Vice-President in charge of Regulatory Oversight and Compliance.
This is huge!!
I’m well-respected in my chosen field and have climbed the ladder to VP.
Six months later … I feel empty. It makes no sense. My firm has a great culture. My co-workers are nice people. My passion for regulatory excellence is as strong as ever.
Life should be great!
Yet something hollow persists.
Why am I not fulfilled?
Signed,
Unknown Negative Sensation Undermines Regulatory Enjoyment
Dear UNSURE,
In this line of work? My co-workers and I continually seek ovations and acclaim.
Call us vain, call us needy, call us attention whores: your words mean little.
The adoration of the crowd is a powerful elixir.
Thousands of people clap for me on a nightly basis and it is better than sex or drugs or money.
“Gadzooks!” you might exclaim. “Our sweet Rex? As craven a showman as any other?”
I must reply using my most favorite retort, which is this: Yes and No.
The key is balance! Knowing when enough is enough. In remembering that there is more to life than show-biz success.
Newer performers need to learn this harsh truth. They break out in a company and become stars. Happens so fast. They’ve “made it.”
What occurs next is what’s known in psychological terms as: Arrival Fallacy.
It means that once you achieve a specific goal or dream, you expect a lasting sense of accomplishment. That life will now seem different. You’ll enjoy deeper fulfillment.
Success may taste sweet, yes, but oh that taste is fleeting. Happiness cannot be conquered. You may improve your situation in life and still not feel it internally.
Satisfaction is an elusive and mercurial sensation.
Our brains are to blame! They rapidly adapt to new life events. They’re designed that way, to help us make sense of new situations.
The term for that is: Hedonic Adaptation.
We quickly settle into the new normal, time and time again, because it’s just in our nature.
What comes next? If we’re not careful, an uncertain negativity, ennui, or discontent can become the newest of the new normals.
Practicing mindfulness and gratitude will help avoid such an outcome. Find the small joy in every day. Keep learning for learning’s sake.
Perhaps share your passion for regulatory procedures with others, in the form of teaching or mentoring?
Volunteer your time and get involved with a worthy charity?
Only you can truly decide what constitutes your scope of personal fulfillment.
I measure my own each night! By the reactions and enjoyment of the audience.
The applause of the crowd validates my performance, giving me fresh exhilaration every show. I never take it for granted and I relish each wondrous experience.
Counterpoint commentary by …
Shandoleesa, Mistress of the Trapeze
Your question covers a topic that haunts me as well.
I am, of course, an international star. Amongst the very top at my profession.
I’m in peak physical condition; I’ve modeled professionally.
I step into the spotlight and perform acrobatic feats that 99.99% of people — even trained athletes — could never do.
Wealthy men buy me expensive jewelry. Some offer to buy me cars.
The crown prince of Luxembourg attempted to abdicate his throne if I would take his hand in marriage.
All of this, I must confess, is enjoyable at a surface level.
None of it ever impresses or touches my inner heart.
My beloved grandfather is long-since deceased. My mother used to join me on the road for a few weeks every year, but now she has become too frail. My siblings live far away. I have no children.
My two million social media followers? They are not my friends. A communications team writes all that content, anyway; I’m no friend to my online followers.
At some point, a dark day will come. I’ll be too old to perform acrobatic stunts at a high level. My remaining youth will fade, my body will age. My looks may also lose their high level.
Who will I be then? What exactly will I be?
These are the thoughts I grapple with late at night, as we are moving from city to city.
I do not believe it is Arrival Fallacy in my case, I do not think so.
I believe I am a girl in the woods with a broken compass; I do not know where to go next. Thus I move straight ahead, tightly on course, without varying even a degree off the way.
I see myself continuing to live in this current circus moment. Staying focused on my career. Choosing purposeful uncertainty.
Allowing the status quo to buffer me like an umbrella in a rainstorm.
But who knows?
Maybe one day I will actually decide to retire. Maybe I’ll know what it’s time for a change.
Maybe one day I’ll be satisfied, and successfully move on, and find happiness in a place somewhere else, in some faraway place just like Luxembourg.
