Family Feud
Is there hope for two sisters after harsh words have been said?
Dear Rolex Rex,
My sister’s boys are 13 and 15. I always thought I’d be the cool aunt. You know? But it’s hard.
Her kids are crazy into super-heroes. Comics, movies, you name it. That’s all they ever talk about! Or else they show me Tik-Tok clips or YouTube.
I don’t want to get into that stuff when I come over. That’s not really what I’m about.
To be honest, they don’t really interact with me much. Just in a polite way.
It hurts my feelings.
On my most recent visit, things finally reached a head. I got mad and stormed into the kitchen. Told my sister she should make them be better conversationalists. Told her to do a better job at raising them.
The room went quiet for a moment.
Then she said, and I quote: “Don’t tell me how to raise my two sons. and I won’t tell you how to raise your five cats.”
And she flashed a smirk, she gave me this little smirk.
Like I was a loser.
We have not spoken since. I won’t talk to her until she and her children apologize.
Did I do anything wrong?
Signed,
Sister’s Negativity Absolutely Feels Ugly
Dear SNAFU,
The ability to hold one’s tongue during familial moments of crisis?
A most rare and arcane talent indeed!
For the bonds of family offer unprecedented license to voice criticisms we’d never dare set forth with strangers.
And disgruntled words can soon become turbo-gruntled.
What am I hearing? I’m hearing that you wanted to spend time with your nephews. That you wished to connect with them. That it did not go the way you’d planned.
Let’s start there! Your heart is truly in the right place. We just need to work on your approach.
My advice: meet your nephews on their level. Meet them in their specific zone of interest.
That means one thing: the world of super-heroes!
It’s time to learn all the lore, learn every hero — their power levels, backstories, and mild-mannered secret identities.
For all of this? This is not trivial! It is the language of your nephews.
Teenagers can be a bit self-centered. If you wish to communicate? It will need to be on their terms.
Whether you like it or not.
And speaking of “like it or not,” there is one other thing you must do.
You must apologize to your sister. Your opinion on her parenting was deeply ill-advised and just plain wrong. There are no two ways about it.
But there are two ways this fight might impact your family:
You can say you’re sorry, smooth this situation out, everyone stays connected, and you lean into personal growth.
Loneliness, bitterness, distance and despair.
The decision is entirely and completely yours to make. Choose well!
Counterpoint commentary by …
Wyatt Aussome & The Aussome Hogs
As the leader of the only animal act in the Zaboni Bros. Traveling Circus — I really wanted to chime in on this one.
What on Earth is wrong with living with five cats? Does that make you an oddball? Does that make you a Crazy Cat Lady™?
Maybe it just means you have the capacity for great affection. That you have a lot of love in your soul. That you wish to be surrounded by amazing creatures.
Maybe life has taught you the truth about people, that they will disappoint you.
No creature will let you down like another human being.
The love of a cat or dog (or hog!) is different. It just is. If you’ve ever loved an animal, you know this is true.
Animals offer unparalleled companionship. They have an intelligence and a depth of feeling that we still haven’t fully grasped.
I understand oh-so-well! After all, I’m a man whose best friends are the seven hogs in my act. We travel town to town, always together, rarely a bad day.
All that being said … you (and I) still do need other humans. You need your sister and your nephews. I hope you can repair those connections.
As great as animals are, we must acknowledge that our relationship is not equal. We consider them friends or fur babies or partners, but they’re also still pets. We control their lives, to some degree. As benevolent as we may be. As much as we endeavor to be good stewards.
There can be a temptation to cling to animals because they’re “easier” to deal with than human beings. Who have their own opinions and feelings. Who have a sense of agency equal to our own.
Balance is important. Your family is important.
But the mere fact that you wrote your letter tells me that you already know that.
Best wishes as you navigate this situation! Not only from me, but from all the Aussome Hogs: Auggie, Evie, Matilda, Whitey, Taylor, Moose and Bobo.
Enjoy your cats to your heart’s desire, and never let anyone, ever, make you feel ashamed.
