Burrito Enigma
Dear Rexcalibur,
I just had a pretty strange first date. She ordered a burrito but only ate a third of it, stating that Mexican cooking makes her “too farty.” OK, whatever. Then when the waiter asked if she wanted a box? She said no!
I wondered if there was something wrong with the food. She told me it was great.
Two-thirds of a burrito casually left behind, let loose like a toot in the night.
I’m at a crossroads. On one hand, she’s pretty fine; on the other, take the box just for show, I don’t even care if she really eats it, but c’mon.
Quite perplexing.
Will proceed with second date even as red flags wave.
Signed,
Slightly Irritating Meal Problem
Dear SIMP,
Your specific question seems unclear. Are you asking if you should be mad that your date only ate part of a burrito?
The implication is unclear.
But no matter! I will endeavor to analyze all sides of this dilemma.
The obvious answer is that she does not like spicy food, although one would assume you discussed this before dining Mexican.
Another simple answer would be first-date nerves; butterflies in the stomach, as it were.
I wonder if she has a medical condition, something like IBS. Or perhaps an allergy, or an eating disorder.
Maybe she grew up in poverty, eating nothing but leftovers, and now finds the notion unpleasant.
Maybe it was a wet burrito, seeming too soggy to enjoy the next day.
We have no idea.
As red flags go, I’m not sure I see any flapping in the breeze.
Other things impossible for me to know:
Did you seem annoyed, or mock her for not eating the burrito?
Did she feel comfortable and safe?
Did you listen to her as she told you her stories?
Did you really listen or just kinda listen?
It seems like she might not be the best person for you.
Said in a better way: You might not be the best person for her.
If you are just dating for looks, if that is your purpose, of course, do as you will.
Physical attractiveness is the outer; true compatibility is found much deeper.
The unseen — intelligence and emotions — may someday prove more satisfying as you refine your tastes and appetite.
Counterpoint commentary by …
Marzonk! the Strong-Man
Marzonk! eats meals of protein. Protein is key! Burrito is good, but many carbs.
You must CRUSH carbohydrates!
You must SMASH unnecessary ingredients!
Food science is new passion for Marzonk!.
Having already mastered realm of muscle, now want to be master of mind!
Marzonk! taking online chemistry course. Studies going well, but periodic table too extreme, numbers-numbers-numbers.
Chemistry is key to food science, so Marzonk! take seriously.
Chemistry is problem on date, too?
Marzonk! loves it when things relate!
You and this burrito lady, you must go out again.
This time order healthy meal of grilled chicken, get steamed broccoli no butter.
Greens salad with light vinaigrette.
Okay to share piece of carrot cake for dessert, if needed for romance (yet Marzonk! would never eat).
Try second date before writing off possible future.
No one is perfect, everyone can have bad day in gym, or in life. Maybe that is true with farty lady as well.
Share meals based on good nutrients and Marzonk! think yummy romance will start to take shape.
