Big Picture Stuff
Dear Rexy’s Midnight Runner,
My wife, without my knowledge, put up a giant mural in our living room.
We were gifted this painting by one of her “artsy” friends.
Hideous is not a strong enough word.
The scene depicts a Southwestern spirit journey. Abstract shapes intermix with sunbeams, coyotes, and the occasional upside-down cactus.
Today I came home to find it framed and hanging above the couch.
This is not what I signed up for!
It is my living space, too. I just can’t deal.
Signed,
Atrocious Revolting Trash
Dear ART,
I wonder — did you feign enthusiasm upon first seeing this ambitious design?
I’m guessing you’re a decent sort, the type who says “That’s really interesting” in an attempt to be nice.
Your wife may have misinterpreted this lukewarm statement as taciturn approval. She might think you like it as much as she does! I am hoping that is the case.
In any event, the path forward will rely mightily on compromise.
Can this mural be placed in a different room, a space less prominent in your home?
Could you add some artwork that you enjoy, something that compliments this piece?
I do fear you are stuck with upside-down cacti in your life for the foreseeable future.
Have a conversation with your spouse, as it seems you two are not on the same page.
If you fail to reach common ground, you could soon find yourself with more quills than you can imagine.
Counterpoint commentary by …
BOOMPLE the Clown
You got problems with your lady, huh?
Here’s the short answer, go ahead and write it down:
Unless you’re the one driving the clown car, you’re just another doofus crammed in the back.
You want to take the long view? You want to consider every side?
That’s reasonable. I’ll allow it. Thoughtfulness is worthy of respect.
But make no mistake, this calls for a bold statement.
It’s time to hang some more art on the wall. Stuff that you choose.
Start off with the classics. Dogs playing poker. The boulevard of broken dreams. A frowny clown crying a tragic tear. Even I hate that one!
Go on your own spirit journey, one of cheap oil paintings and maybe a lava lamp.
That’s when you’ll learn if you both have a hand on the steering wheel.
If she’s a decent partner?
You’ll get this resolved without finding yourself in clown shoes.
